Oatmeal, Captain Underpants, and Tailgate Parties

It’s nearly 9:00 am and we just finished a breakfast of hot oatmeal cereal.  I can’t stand oatmeal, but that’s only a recent development.  Since overcoming severe anemia, I have lost the desire to eat the mushy, paste colored, barn lofty smell of oats.  No matter how I dress it up with raisins and cinnamon, it still gets stuck in my throat and I have to gag it down.  Two of my boys love it, one doesn’t (my SPD child) he can’t stand the texture.

As my three darling boys are careening through the house in only their underwear and red capes, playing “Captain Underpants (I’m still annoyed at my good friend who introduced the despicable books to my children) I am readying myself for my very first tailgate party for the University of Utah Football game this afternoon.  I’m not a football fan.  I don’t watch football.  I’m going because a local radio station hired me to paint the U of U drum and feathers logo on people’s faces.  It was only recently that I was informed that there would be drunken people there.  Great. I’ll be getting a good whiff of beer breath and will have to deal with the idiotic antics of said persons.

A cousin of mine from Samoa, didn’t know what a tailgate party was, so I defined it for her (after consulting those who have attended such events). 

The term “Tailgate Party” refers to an event where white people park their trucks together in the parking lot of a stadium and sit on their truck tailgates as they drink beer and eat nachos, passing foul gas and burping loudly while they get stupid drunk just before the big football game.  Apparently this kind of activity is considered a party.

They do it so they can get “excited” for the game – but by the time the game is over, they’re usually passed out or close to it, or they have annoyed other sober fans to the point that they are in danger of getting their lights knocked out.  By the following morning these “tailgaters” have no recollection as to who even won the game.

I think people who drink to get drunk enjoy playing the guessing game “Don’t know what the heck I did last night – do you?”

If they only knew that they could achieve the same level of stupidity and obnoxiousness by staying awake for 24 to 48 hours straight.  They’d save their livers and other vital organs from ravages of alcohol consumption.

Hope your day is good. I'm off to gather my paints and brushes and my sense of humor.

until next time, Eat Well, Be Well and Be Happy.